When a child constantly interrupts you at the wrong time, and you allow them to or you erupt in anger, it teaches them impatience. When you allow them to interrupt, they learn they should always get their way. When you erupt in anger, it teaches them it is ok to be impatient with others. Many parents, out of embarrassment, do not teach obedience in public, because they have not thought out a proper training method. It is very important that you train them early to obey, right away, all the way. When the child disobeys, you must come up with a swift and appropriate consequence that is the same for each time they disobey. If you are in public, it may be in the form of a gesture you make or a word that is attached to a larger consequence when you are in private. They need to associate that word or gesture with a specific outcome they will not like.
When a child is being disobedient in the home, there must always be consequences for disobedience; immediate consequences. Each child is different so you will need to determine what is the best action to take, such as removing them from the situation if they love being around people, taking their favorite toy away, or even not sparing the rod. We will discuss this more later, but do know, biblically it is better for some kids to get a simple spanking than taking away a toy. Remember, each child is different so you will need to determine the best consequence for each, and also, as they grow, those consequences will change. My child is now 11 as I am writing this and the best consequence for him would be to remove his privacy by taking off his bedroom door.
Get creative, but the point here is for you to come up with a plan. Something simple that you can remember. Here are some ideas:
When they child interrupts an adult conversation, teach them before hand that instead of verbally interrupting, they should instead come and gently grab your wrist. You will put your hand on top of their hand to acknowledge them. They will wait until you can break the conversation. This teaches them patience. If they do not do this, there will be a consequence, such as no media for the day.
When the child throws a tantrum in the grocery store, say “all done” and then leave the cart in the store and go home. It shocks them. Most moms only need to do this 2-3 times and your child will be a gem in the store.
When the child throws a tantrum in a restaurant, excuse yourself from the rest of the party at the table, bring them outside, find a place to sit that is away from people. Sit them down and just sit there. Do not say anything until they calm down. Depending on the situation, ask them in an adult voice what is wrong. Talk to them plainly. Ask them if they want to sit out here all night and miss dinner or if they would rather be with the others? Allow them to make this decision.
If they choose to stay outside, then do not talk with them. It is not to be a fun time. Just sit and stare ahead. Do not look at them and do not go on your phone. Once they choose to go inside with the others, teach them exactly what the inside rules are for a restaurant. Low inside voices, no interrupting adult conversation, feet need to stay under them, hands need to stay where they belong, no clanking of the glasses or silverware, etc. Whatever your restaurant rules are, the child must be aware of them.
Share your stories! I would love to hear how you teach and train your children.
One Reply to “Obedience Training”
My son is only 5 months old and when he starts to make loud noises for no good reason, I look him in the eye with a serious face and shake my head then he calms down, I do that too when I’m eating after feeding him when he looks at my plate and wants some of mine and I tell him it’s mommy’s time to eat so that he learns not to eat in every plate.