In our home, my son knows that my husband always comes first. He knows we both love him, but he also understands that my duty is first to God, second to my husband, and then to him. Many parents put their kids first and it causes an imbalance in the home and also in the marriage.
Sister, you have a specific role to honor, respect, and submit to your husband just as you are to the Lord. God has placed your husband in charge, not you. But also, your husband is to love you just as Christ loved all of us! He is to be loving to us as the weaker vessel. Now before you get upset thinking you are not the weaker vessel, we have to remember context of scripture and what it means. When Peter spoke in 1 Peter 3:7 of women being the weaker vessel, in his day women had no voice. They were considered weaker because it was a man driven world in which women really could not be trusted or do anything great. Even in court, the testimony of a woman was considered irrelevant. So to say a man needs to love and honor the woman as the weaker vessel was a HUGE statement to be made back then. Peter was actually advocating for women in a world where women were a little higher than dogs!
I want my child to grow up to love his wife well. I want him to honor his wife, but I also want him to choose a wife that understands how to truly respect him and be the best wife to and for him. I do not want them to make an idol of their kids. I want them both to have their priorities straight. By showing my son now the pecking order of authority in my life, I am training him so he will be able to go in the right direction when he is older.
While our children are sometimes helpless and need our full attention at times, we must always remember who is in charge ultimately (God), the human God has put in charge of our family (my husband), and the human that is directly under the person in charge (me). Practically speaking, how do we, as moms, maintain our relational focus and stability? Over the next several posts I will share some tips to help you with your kids. We will discuss their need for your love and attention, how to teach them to obey, and how to help them interact in public well.
Below are some helpful Bible verses to show you God’s design.
Genesis 2:24 ESV “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
1 Peter 3:7 ESV Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Colossians 3:19 ESV Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.